Since I know that thoughts create in the body and in my life, I get up every morning and in my wonderful garden I first send loving thoughts to myself and my body. Do you have an every day practice to nurture yourself? This is such an essential key to weight loss. I have found that if I go out in my garden every day and turn my attention on the good things about myself and the positive things I am grateful for in my life a better flow happens in my day.

This loving practice is the emotional mental food that sustains me and helps me make better choices in the food I choose to eat. If I can’t find at least 10 minutes to an hour in my day to center, listen to my Inner Child and send love to her, then I know I am not optimizing and open to the wonderful things and opportunities that are coming to me.

“Loving Yourself is the NUMBER ONE job you have in your life. Everything else you desire is created off of this loving act of kindness” Patricia Bisch

Without a doubt I know that my bingeing was a way for me to handle the pain of feeling abandoned, unloved, alone, criticized and thinking I was not enough or defective. It soothed the anxiety that all of these emotions stirred up that were too much for me to handle. Maybe you can relate to this. I would love to hear from you. I wrote this passage in my book Freedom From Food.

“Food is the glue that holds my fragmented parts together so I look whole and no one can see I am really in pieces. Part of me knows that I am hiding in the shadows of my isolate world, where things are not as they seem on the outside. Inside I’m loathing myself. I feel defective and just not good enough.

The outside world is beating me up emotionally. I don’t feel that I have a buffer strong enough to shield me from the onslaught of predatory comments and critical judgments. There is so much fear inside of me. I feel shaky and nervous. My feelings have to go underground to make certain I don’t get hurt anymore. I am too sensitive, too open and to raw. At the same time, I realize I have to be tough in this world if I want to survive. Food is my protector…”(continued pg.27)

I have found over 30 years that these feelings seem to be an emotional thread in all eaters, bulimics, anorexics etc.. I have discovered that a major part of my healing in these last few years has come from learning to express my NEEDS as well a my feelings. In my experience, I have always known what I am feeling. It is very common for eaters to feel angry, not cared for, stressed, giving too much, disappointed, not enough, rejected or abandoned but few understand how legitimate and important their NEEDS are. Some examples of NEEDS are needing to: matter, be included, respected, supported, listened to, nurtured, appreciated, communicated to, listened to, be loved, mutuality, etc..

Somehow in the chaos, anger and competition that permeated my family, I was too busy taking care of others needs so I wouldn’t feel their anger or disapproval of me. Now I know that expressing my own NEEDS in a non-reactionary way is essential to me and to my relationships. I find that most often others will hear me which takes away that urge to binge. Try this with friends and relationships and let me know how it goes!

FOR EXAMPLE: “I am feeling uncomfortable because I am Needing more COMMUNICATION ( this is an example of the NEED I chose) between us“

I noticed the other day that I was eating my old favorite binge food M&Ms. It is unusual for me after 30 years of being healed from my Freedom From Food program not to make a more advanced choice of food that makes me feel better. I am aware that I have been looking at the faults in others. I am feeling that my friends are not acting as I want them to and I am noticing the ways my boyfriend is not doing what I want either. I am focusing on everyone outside of myself and their faults. Have you ever done that?

Having been healed of my weight problem for 30 yrs, I have learned at these times to check in on the emotions of my Inner Child and see what is going on with her. As I look inside I see that she is throwing a tantrum. She has been on her computer and organizing her office for days. I HAVE LOST THE VALUE IN WHAT I AM DOING and I am bored. Out in my garden, I remember why I am doing this office and computer work. It is to MAKE MORE ROOM FOR LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS in my life. As I think this THOUGHT I begin to feel HAPPY again and of course my love for others starts flowing. Staying focused on the value of your daily activities is a key to staying in a positive flow of life so your weight is not effected by negative emotion.

“I am doing things in my life to create more Love and more Fun”